Wednesday, January 12, 2011

You said you loved me. You're a liar.

"He will try to take away my pain, and he might just make me smile, but the whole time I'm wishing he was you instead."
Do you know how much it hurts having to see and talk to you everyday and knowing that I'm not the reason why you're so happy? Do you know how much it hurts seeing that beautiful smile on your face everyday and knowing I'm not the reason behind that smile anymore? Do you know how much it hurts looking into those pair of beautiful eyes everyfuckingday and know I'm not the reason why they're shining like stars?

See these walls built up around me? You're the reason why I put them up. Because I've found it's foolish to trust someone, anyone. One day they'll say they love you and the next they'll be walking out the door. Because when you trust someone you give them the chance to break your heart. When you tear down the walls to let someone in, you make yourself vulnerable.

And that's what you did to me. That's exactly what you did to me. You made me vulnerable. You told me you loved me. You told me it was different this time. You told me you'd never leave me no matter how bad things got.

Tell me then how can you go around everyday with that smile on your face? Does your heart not hurt like mine? Does your heart still not beat crazily every time you see me? Do you not scroll through our old texts and wonder how you could let it all finish so easily?

"This is the last smile I'll fake for the sake of being with you".

I've had enough. Enough lies and deceit. How could you have let me down so easily. For the first time I was actually starting to believe love existed..

"And even when all your hope is gone, move along, move along, just to make it through."

After every storm comes a rainbow. I'm still waiting for mine, and hopefully it doesn't take too long to appear. It will take a while, and it will still hurt me every time I see you, but I'll do it.

And if you ever again realise that you were, in your words "wrong to be an ass to the one good thing that was happening to you", remember, "I'm long gone and moved on."

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