Must learn to stop expecting people to care about me as much as I care about them. Most people are takers. I, unfortunately, am a giver.

Will You Be My Forever?

So will you be my forever?
The one that stands beside me?
Will you be there in the end
When it's only you and me?
Will I be the one you come to
When your heart's in pain?
Will you let me shield you from the rain?
Will you be my forever?

Do Me A Favour.

Don't make me fall for you anymore than I already am.

Why Do I Even Try?

I'm so sick of everyone.
I'm trying to be a nice person. I really am. But it's not easy when everyone else around me is acting like an ASSHOLE.

Take my mother for instance. I wasn't rude to her. I helped her around the house and with other stuff. But she still treats me somewhat inferior and scolded me for no apparent reason. What the fuck? And she's killing me with her sarcasm. If I die you're all invited to my funeral.

What is wrong with people? Why do they all have to be so fucked up?

Can't I get a break? Please God? Just once?

Always Second Best.

I'm not perfect. And I don't ask to be loved more than anyone.

I ask to be loved just the same.

Change.

It's funny. I've never felt at a loss for words, but right now I have no idea how to express how I'm feeling inside. It's like I'm depressed at how I've let people down but at the same time, I'm defensive of myself. I haven't done anything wrong. Have I?

I make myself a promise today. I don't know if I'll be able to keep it, but it's worth a shot. I'm going to be a better person from now on. I'm going to stop being an asshole. I will try to be a better daughter, a good listener and be a friend to those who need me.

Too much has happened. I've had dreams stomped on, and that sometimes make me feel so low I can't feel anything.

Then I realised maybe it's because I'm a bitch that karma's coming back for me.

I don't know where I go from here, but hopefully it's a better path than the one I was on before.

Life is unfair and I'm still fucking pissed at it's unfairness, but it's the little things that happen which show you that you need to change.

Maybe there's still hope for me.

Right now, killing myself seems like the best option.